This last fall, my husband was gone for a few months for some National Guard trainings. This isn’t the first time he’s been away, and it won’t be the last. It’s still never easy when he’s away, but I have figured out some routines and tricks to make things a little easier, and keep my sanity. And I wanted to share some of my tricks today in case it can help out another mom.
I’m no master, and there are moms that are way better at this stuff then me. So take my advice with a grain of salt, take what works for you and forget the rest. And leave a comment if you have any other ideas that could help!
#1 Set A Bedtime For Yourself
Starting right off with the one trick I am the absolute worst at. I feel so much better when I do this, I just never follow through. I actually have a really really hard time sleeping when my husband is away. Like I will toss and turn till 1 o’clock regularly. Which would be okay if it was just once, but it is every single night. And then my kids are wide awake and ready to party by 7.
But lately, I have been way better at this by having a consistent routine before bedtime for myself. I do my skincare, brush my teeth, and all of that. Then I journal for a bit. I found that the journaling really helps me to clear and relax my mind. So as soon as I am done, I am ready to go to sleep.
#2 Join A Gym With Childcare
I just started doing this a few months ago, and regret not doing it sooner. I have a pretty good home gym in our basement that has worked great for years. And my kids have the best toys down in the basement to keep them entertained. That doesn’t mean that I can always work out with out distraction, but I can get a good workout in most days.
Well, when my husband is away, my alone time is also stretched thin. Working out is important to me, and I found myself feeling really frustrated that I wasn’t able to workout without interruption. So my husband recommended I find a gym with childcare. I should have done this years ago!
It is a little tricky because you have to work around the childcare schedule of the gym. So I did have to move my workout times around a little bit. But it is so worth, and has been a game changer. One of the childcare workers is the sweetest grandma. And several others are moms themselves who sometimes bring their kids with them. My kids always have they best time and they always ask “can we go to the gym today??”
#3 Keep A Routine
I know that every mom and family is different. So your version of a routine or rhythm will look different. But this has always been the most helpful for my kids. They still know what to expect and when, for the most part. And it seems to keep them happier and calmer, which just makes my days a little easier.
Obviously, depending on what the hard season includes for you, your whole entire schedule might have been completely thrown out. But try to keep even just a couple parts of your routine the same. OR create a new routine and stick with it as best you can.
For us, bedtime has been the toughest time of day lately. So, when my husband was away, I really simplified our bedtime routine to make easier on me. Now after dinner and a little playtime, we all work together to clean up the house, then gather together for family scripture study and prayers. Then the kids each pick a book to read and cuddle up on the couch to read together. And then they are off to their rooms for bed. They don’t have to fall asleep right away, but they do need to stay in their room.
One item that has REALLY helped our routine is our Yoto players. We use them for calming music and podcasts at bedtime, upbeat music while we clean the house and alarms and timers throughout the day. For example, my daughters yoto has an alarm in the morning when it’s time to wake up and another alarm when it’s time to get shoes on and leave for school. When her first alarm goes off, she likes to turn on music or the Yoto daily podcast to help her wake up. You can also use it for white noise, room temperature and as an okay-to-wake clock. Seriously, we LOVE ours.
#4 Fuel Your Body
This is another one where depending on what the hard season includes, this could feel close to impossible. And I know when you are busy and exhausted, that drive thru is sooo nice. Trust me, I have collected an embarrassing number of McDonalds points this year. And when my husband is gone, I always add at least 2 days a week of eating out into our meal plan and budget. Even with eating out, I make sure I am eating plenty of protein, lots of fruits and veggies and drinking more than just Dr Pepper.
If that feels impossible to even think about, just focus on drinking water to start. Then try incorporating more protein sources into your day, especially your breakfasts. I made a post a couple years ago with some of my favorite snacks for moms that includes several higher protein options, too.
#5 Get Outside
One of the best things I have done over the past couple years is force my kids to play outside as often as possible. Funny enough, I am typing this on a day that it is freezing cold outside, and I don’t want to be outside at all, so we might not go outside. But almost every day, we go for a walk. At the very least, we play in the backyard for at least 30 minutes. I swear, my kids don’t even notice the temperature. When we had an artic blast in January, one of my boys ran outside in just his swimsuit and we had to bribe him to stay inside. But when the temperature is fine, it has been great for all of us to get outside and get some sunlight.
During these cold winter months, when it can be difficult to get outside, I like to use a vitamin D light in the mornings to help wake us up. Especially here in the Cleveland area where it’s overcast and gloomy so often.
#6 Spend Time With The Lord Every Day
Whether you listen to a general conference talk each day, pray in the school pick up line or get up early for some scripture reading – I know from experience that this will give you the best chance of survival in hard seasons.
I want to share a quote that I think of often from Elder Jeffery R. Holland:
Rely on Him. Rely on Him heavily. Rely on Him forever. And “press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope.” You are doing God’s work. You are doing it wonderfully well. He is blessing you and He will bless you, even—no, especially—when your days and your nights may be the most challenging. Like the woman who anonymously, meekly, perhaps even with hesitation and some embarrassment, fought her way through the crowd just to touch the hem of the Master’s garment, so Christ will say to the women who worry and wonder and sometimes weep over their responsibility as mothers, “Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole.” And it will make your children whole as well. (Jeffrey R. Holland, “Because She Is a Mother,” April 1997)
I love this reminder to rely on the Lord. And the reminder that He will be there for us. Each time I have followed His guidance in my motherhood, myself and my family has been blessed.
I really hope that these tips help you in some way. At the very least, I hope they help you brainstorm ways you can help yourself get through a tough season. You’ve got this!
