It wasn’t until we moved across the country to Ohio that I realized how weird it can be to make friends as a stay at home mom. When we moved, I knew no one. My husband works a TON. And for a while, we only had one car. So I was at home with kids a lot, in a new state, where I knew almost no one. I was so lonely for a long time. It was so so hard for me. In Utah, I had my best friends and my kids friends moms. And leaving that was difficult. And when I did make a good friend here in Ohio, her family ended up moving across the country a few months later. I still maintain those friendships as much as I can. But finding new local friends has been so huge for me.
To make new friends, you’re probably going to have to get out of your comfort zone. Friends aren’t going to just show up on your doorstep. Relationships take effort on each side so you will need to be willing to put the effort in.
Get Involved In Your Childs School
One thing I absolutely love about my daughters school is that they require the parents to come in the school to the classroom for drop off and pick up. I actually thought that I would hate this, and it is very inconvenient at times. But I almost look forward to it most days. I usually have to wait in the hallway with the other parents for a few minutes while the teacher prepares the classroom or wraps up the day, so we have a chance to talk a bit. I’ve gotten to know most of the other moms and dads. And a couple of them I have become good friends with.
There is one mom from my daughters class that I went half the school year without saying a word too. But just the other week, I had a chance to chat with her briefly. For some reason, I had wrongly assumed that we probably wouldn’t really have much in common, or that she wouldn’t like me. But we had the best conversation, and I found out that she is insanely smart, kind and fun! All it took was to say hi!
One last great thing about being involved is that I actually have all the parents phone numbers. So when my daughter wants a playdate with a classmate, it is easy to reach out and get it scheduled.
Church Friends
I have met some of the most amazing women through church. In our church congregation, we don’t have many young families. And that can definitely be a bummer. But let me tell you, don’t skip over the women that are older or in different seasons of life than you. They are so amazing and fun! I look forward to chatting with several of the women that attend our church each week. And now the only bummer is that I don’t have time to catch up with all of them each Sunday.
But really. Several of these women are ones that I would feel comfortable going to for advice and encouragement. And as I’ve gotten to know them and their stories more, the more I love them. I know it’s nice to have mom friends that are in your same season of life. But don’t pass on an incredible friendship just because they don’t have young kids anymore.
Your Favorite Park
This one might feel way out of your comfort zone. But talk to the moms at the park! I love when other moms chat with me at the park. If I see that our kids are playing together, I’ll go say hi and ask them how old their kids are, or what school they go to. Or if I see a mom with cute sunglasses, I’ll go compliment her and ask her where they are from.
Okay, you aren’t going to be best friends after a 5 minute conversation at the park. But having a conversation with an adult is nice. And I usually stick with the same couple parks nearby. So I often see the same moms there. It’s nice to see a familiar face when we pull up to the park.
Maintain Old Friendships
Maintaining my old friendships has been amazing for me. When I became a mom, my priorities definitely shifted. And some friendships fizzled out because we just didn’t click well anymore.
But my best friend is not yet a mom, and I have tried to keep our relationship going. Luckily she is patient with me and understands that sometimes it takes me a few days to respond to a text message. And I love that she can give me a different perspective of the world through her eyes. We are not in the same season of life at all. At times, we’ve been basically complete opposite. But I couldn’t imagine not having her in my life.
Maintaining these friendships could be regular Marco Polos (I love Marco Polo for keeping up with my friends and family), a girls trip every year, or just regular text messages checking in. Try setting aside 20 minutes this week to send a Marco Polo or a text to 3 friends just checking in on them.
Hobbies And Activities
What are you really into? Do you love working out, painting, dancing, or baking? Or maybe there is something new you want to learn. Is there a class you could join where you could improve your skills, have some you time AND meet some new friends with similar interests? Look into your local rec center or a community college nearby. Our local rec center has volleyball, basketball and fitness classes for adults. And typically the classes rotate throughout the year depending on the season. I’ve also found that the activities at the rec centers are usually reasonably priced, which is great if you’re also paying for a babysitter on top of it.
I hope you are able to find a cultivate some amazing friendships. Comment below how you met your best friends!
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